Do you live on autopilot?

Lacking direction?

Doing things without a clear why?

My new friend Danilo asked me yesterday: "I watched your TEDx. It seems you've been introspecting for a long time. How did you become like this?"

It got me thinking.
(My favourite activity.)

Being an only child probably mattered.

To entertain myself, I'd read fiction and play role-playing games.

Later I'd watch anime and read manga.

Through stories, I've lived many lives. They also showed me different viewpoints and actions under incomplete information.

(Un)consciously I'd question what I would have done.

(In hindsight, this probably developed my EQ, cultural awareness and set me up well for coaching as I could easily place myself in others' shoes. Experience sharpened these traits. I digress)

I realize: if it hadn't been for (team) sports, I might have ended up a recluse!

Perhaps my fascination with Lego mattered. I never constructed my own but always followed the instructions.

Later, I replaced Lego with game walkthroughs.

I rarely replayed games: most stories are best enjoyed once. Walkthroughs helped me figure out optimal team compositions or complete games (near) 100% on first playthroughs.

I enjoyed the story and figuring out the optimal path.
I disliked exploring or backtracking.

(I still (dis)favour and act accordingly today.)

Writing this, I realize how much these childhood tendencies - combining the humane (why) with the logical/rational (how) - have shaped me.

(I dislike creating when I know the outcome. The same applies to most movies and fiction - they are predictable and feel like a waste of time.)

But I think the biggest piece of the puzzle was my parents. Particularly over dinner.

"How was your day?"
"How did your exam go?"
"What did you think of today's match?"

They'd always start with questions.

I'd describe what happened.

They'd reply with:

"How do you feel about it?"

No judgmental "why" or attempt to educate me. They preferred to listen, let me talk and come up with my own solutions/improvements. Only after that, if warranted, would they give their opinion.

And I'd observe them do the same with each other.

After unconditional love and a worry-free childhood, I am most grateful to them for this gift.

I don't know to what extent, but I'd bet it's these family dinners that have most contributed to my introspective nature (and making me a great listener).

We become what we are most exposed to, after all.

This also makes me want to leave you with something practical:

Take some time tonight for introspection and ask "why am I this way?"

If you're like me, you'll end up grateful to someone AND better understanding yourself.

Which then lets you question if you're maximizing your talents, curiosities and traits...or doing something you're not well-equipped for.

If you'd like a reader, send me your story. Would love to read it.

Now I'm off to message my parents.

Day 51 (almost) finished. 489 to go.

Love,

Jim